Via Crucis

Then [Pilate] handed him over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus; and carrying the cross by himself, he went out to what is called The Place of the Skull, which in Hebrew is called Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus between them. - John 19:16-18

Tonight, my husband and I took part in a new event for both of us. This pensive Good Friday, we went to the Colosseum and joined thousands of pilgrims in via crucis - the way of the cross. Many churches around the world have this same practice, and being in Rome we had the opportunity to celebrate with all sorts of people, including the Holy Father himself.

We very much looked forward to this event, as it was highly recommended to us as an extremely moving, gorgeous service. Unfortunately, two things worked against us: language, and the Holy Father himself. On the first hand, the entire service was in Italian - on the second, most of the people were there simply to see the Pope, pushing and shoving to get to the front to get a chance to see him.

We waited in the worst of the crowd until we knew we certainly weren't going to get a better view of the Pope, at which point we retreated to the far back of the crowd. At this point, we could at least sit - and even better, we could feel like we were actually part of a worshipping body. With more room, people were able to kneel or sit as they prayed. A group of nuns in front of us genuflected regularly. A small group of pilgrims sat with their heads bowed and eyes closed the whole time, their faces glowing in the lights of their candles. Here, a true feeling of combined devotion and intention could be felt.

When you look at the worship service (the English translation is here, and it is an excellent resource) you realize the great effort made to create meditations that are inspiring and, most of all, applicable to all people. It therefore seems a waste that the service was in Italian and lost on so many people. I looked at the gathered crowd and saw how easily they were swayed, and realized something about the day Jesus was betrayed - this is human nature. We don't know what we want, and if we can't get someone's message we quickly turn to chaos. Even the best of intentions are usually lost on us. Christ came speaking a language of peace and forgiveness that we couldn't (or wouldn't) understand, and so we put him to death.

And so, lost in a crowd of people, I bowed my head in prayer along with the many other languages whispered that night, praying that God might forgive me for Christ's sake for my nature. I prayed that hearts might be opened, and I cried that even mine was still hard.

Merciful God, we betray you even when we think we are doing what's best. We are sinners, deserving nothing but the death we bring upon ourselves. Through your crucified Son, show us the extent of your love. In his resurrection, remind us of the hope that even we can find. We ask all these things in your holy and gracious name, Amen.